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Poglejte polno različico : Chuck Norris

14.07.2009, 07:24
Kad dobiješ sedam zvezdica u igri Grand Theft Auto, juri te Chuck Norris.
Kad Chuck Norris sece luk ne place on nego luk.
Zirafe su nastale kada je Chuck Norris sutnuo konja u bradu.
Chuck Norris je već bio na Marsu. Zato tamo nema tragova života.
Chuck norisov kalendar nema 1. april.
Chuck Norris kad udje u autobus,kondukteri kupuju karte.
Chuck Norris je instalirao Vistu 1998. godine.
Ako ti imas 10 dinara i Chuck Norris ima 10 dinara Chuck ima vise para od tebe.
Chuck Norrisove kaubojske chizme su napravljene od kauboja.
Chuck norris je već deset godina mrtav. Samo smrt se još uvek plaši da mu to kaže.

14.07.2009, 07:42
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

14.07.2009, 08:18

ata hrast
14.07.2009, 08:29
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.

14.07.2009, 10:24
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty

14.07.2009, 20:51
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.


14.07.2009, 20:52
tale čist zmaga, anede:) :veryfunny: hehe...

14.07.2009, 20:53
dobr si, ja;)

14.07.2009, 20:59
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a
stripper in it.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

14.07.2009, 21:00
:rofl: sej ne bi mogla zbrt najboljšga

19.07.2009, 15:15
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

20.07.2009, 09:23

20.07.2009, 17:14
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

05.11.2009, 20:18
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

05.11.2009, 20:20
Chuck's favorites: Picked by himself

# When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

# Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

# Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

# Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

# There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

# When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

# Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

# Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

# Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

# Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

# Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

# Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

06.11.2009, 09:23

13.03.2010, 11:30
je edini človek, ki ima lahko torbo in kolo.

13.03.2010, 11:30
Koliko sklec lahko naredi Chuck Norris?


13.03.2010, 16:35
chuck norris lahko ploska z eno roko